I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. ~Benjamin Disraeli
Maybe that's what I've been feeling this whole time!
I cannot help but think what a wild ride these last few years have turned out to be. Three years ago today I left for Liverpool (for the first time). We were stuck on the GW Bridge for a lifetime, the plane's landing gear failed the first time, and I was never so tired in my life when we finally got to the hotel in London. It's hard to believe that all of that chaos was the starting point for Pip's arrival. I never thought all of this would come from that. Everything happens for a reason. Although things are quite difficult sometimes and I am in pain most times, I am quite a happy and thankful lady. In the last few months I've learned so many things. I've learned that, no matter what, there are people that will always show you their true colors when the going gets tough. I've learned that there are people who will let you down, but there are even more people who will come along and bring their own little candle to light the way for you (if not a candle their flash on their smartphone works). I've learned that true, honest friends are few and far between. Perhaps most importantly, I've learned that you never know what you're made of until you are pushed right down to the nitty gritty to find out exactly how far your courage can take you, how deep your strength is, how much hardship you can endure, and how humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude you can feel once you finally persevere.
The timing of Pip's arrival couldn't be more off. Sometimes I still find myself annoyed that my plan didn't go through the way I wanted it to, that this summer was supposed to be filled with wedding planning and odd, vintage, mismatched plate hunting instead of hunting for the best diaper deals. But then Pip moves around or kicks me and I realize that I was always the person to believe that everything happens for a reason and that it is best to realize things are out of our control as soon as possible in order to enjoy this short time we are here, why should I stop thinking this way now? So big deal if I didn't choose Pip. He chose me, us, at this place in time. How flattering is that?! Over 6 billion people on this planet and Pip picks Dann and I to be his parents. Oh my! Maybe my little baby is a fool, huh?
I've always made it a point to help people whenever I could because for so long I was the one who needed so much help and because I am also one who believes that you should treat people the way you would want to be treated. However the amount of help that I've needed over the last few months is absurd and, sometimes, embarrassing. So I must start with this week's dose of gratitude there.
Those People Who Are in My Face All of the Time - I do not mean this in a negative or cruel way. There have been many times in the past that I've had to be in a friend's face to help them through something even if I was the last person they wanted to talk to, so I know what it's like to have to force a person to shut up and listen or sit down and let someone else do something. So for Krissy, Stefanie, Donna, and Jenn - I am grateful. They consistently check up on me and, when needed, pull me back from freak out zone. There are times when I do not want to speak to anyone and they just do not shy away because I am silent. In fact, most days Krissy tells me where do go and how to get there when I start to doubt the doctors' capabilities. They're the ones who remind me that although things aren't ideal right now they could be worse and they will get better. I'm the thankful for these girls.Every single day.
My Baby Daddy! - I am speaking the truest words I've ever spoken when I tell people how lucky I feel that Dann and I found each other. The odds of that happening were so slim and based on chance, as everything is but our chances were so slim it's amazing it happened. For one, I'm so thrilled that I'm not stuck with a miserable guy. Of course I knew this was the case way before the baby was ever a thought in my head but I just think to the boys of my past and I thank my lucky stars that Dann is Pip's daddy and not one of the yonkos from my past. Due to stupid immigration and visa rules, Dann went to England for nine days. He comes back on Wednesday and the last few days really made me realize how helpful he is! I can be quite a monster to him, too, and he never holds it against me. I mean, sure, it could be because I would remind him that this is all of his fault, but I don't think he would hold it against me anyway. Every time I leave the ice pack downstairs in the freezer when I am already snugged up in bed I am reminded of how grateful I am for Dann. I love how he didn't change his tune when we learned I was pregnant, how he took it better than I did right from the get go. I also, now not so secretly, love how we argue over his desire to want to drop out of school to stay with the baby and I remind him that this seems like the hardest way right now but we will be happy about it in July. And I love how Dann talks to Pip and hollers at me for playing the drums on my belly because I shouldn't annoy Pip before he actually gets out of my belly. I'm just grateful that Dann isn't a jerk. I had such a long track record with those kind of guys.
For Honest Friends - These types of friends are rare and when you find them, hold those friends closely. Their honesty will be one of the most valuable attributes to your friendship so pick honest and sincere ones and let go of those who cannot be honest with you.
For Everyone Who is Sending Good Thoughts - I want to thank everyone for their well wishes, good juju, and positive thoughts that are constantly coming our way. We appreciate it so very much and are absolutely humbled by it all. We never realized how many people care about us, does anyone? So let me say thank you to all of you this week, just in case this PipSqueak of mine decides to make an appearance before next week's TT!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
What are you thankful for?
