Thankful Thursday! Early Edition!

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.”  ― Henry Ward Beecher

Unfortunately I have had a difficult week again.  But it's okay.  I know that people are in way worse situations than having to shack up with their boyfriend for a couple of days while seeking other shelter.  The thing is I hate not being in control of my own life.  I blame this on living with a disability.  I can tell you, and not be ashamed about it, that when the carpet is pulled out from underneath me, I am more angry and embarrassed about falling than I am sad about being in pain. That is my issue right now.  I am not enjoying not having a place to live. Especially since I had it all figured out before I left in the spring. I find it ever so frustrating that I am still unemployed.  I haven't heard from Beatles Story yet, but I am chalking that up to no news is good news. (I don't even know if I put that story in this blog or my other one!)  And I can't seem to find light at the end of this tunnel.  However, I am also uber sensitive to things that I should be grateful for, the things I am lucky to have. A few of these things/people I have already expressed my gratitude for but I don't care they need to be acknowledged again.

My Mom -  It was Debbie's birthday on Monday and I could hardly ignore the fact that I miss her so much more than I missed her any other time I have lived away from home.   I don't know if it is because I was bummed I didn't go get her Bob Dylan tickets (and then she didn't go get them or go to the concert) or if it was because I am having such a bad week but I spent a good amount of time this past weekend thinking of how much Lolly has done for me (and my siblings).  Most times I think that it is more than one parent should have to do for their child.  But when you are playing the role of mother and father, I guess you just do what you have to do.  When I reflect on everything she has done, it still overwhelms me because she didn't and still doesn't miss a beat. I could never ever pay her back (even with a front row, backstage passes, get his phone number so she could text him Dylan package) but I can constantly write words expressing how thankful I am to have her for a mother.  For real, I wouldn't pick anyone else on the planet to be a daughter to.  She's my favorite lady, ever.

Amanda Metro -  For the last few weeks it has been bugging me that I have not expressed my gratitude for this wonderful gal.  She is the reason why I do Thankful Thursday and it is a shame that I have not included her earlier. But I wanted to wait until this week anyway as I think she might need an extra spunk in her step.  It worked out because this week I realized that it doesn't matter how many days have passed, Amanda and I can keep a conversation going.  It doesn't matter that I am on the other side of the world, she still talks to me like I am sitting in the box office of the Cultural Center which is what I needed this week. But also this week it has been Amanda's voice (usually the voice of reason and honesty) that has been sounding through my head when my conscience has been throwing things at me reminding me of what I should be thankful for. Amanda's influence in my life is not something new.  She and I actually became close during one of my darkest and twistiest times and she's watched me make mistakes and helped me to see things clearly, and now she is so overwhelmed with joy at how my life has turned out. So although we haven't been friends for 54 years, she met me at the worst moment and she stayed through until now.  So for her, I am grateful.  And she also hooked me up with my current job in Scranton.  Word.

That I am in Liverpool - I cannot ignore the fact that there are people who want to travel the world and never get an opportunity to leave their house/city/state/country let alone live somewhere else and get the opportunity to get to know another culture.  Being in England I have the opportunity to travel in Europe much cheaper than I'd be able to do from America (obviously). For reals, Dann and I are going to Greece next week for 8 stinkin' days!   I am grateful to be here... just annoyed at the moment.

I'm Alive  - Sometimes you just have to acknowledge the fact that you should be happy your arse is breathing.  So here I am.  Expressing my gratitude for the most important factor in my life, the facts that my heart is beating and my air is filling with lungs is something I am thankful for almost everyday.  Except for those days when you leave your phone at home or you left your lunch on the kitchen table and you can't help but scream "WHY!!!!!!!!!!????????????"  You might want to take a moment to YouTube "I'm Alive" by Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews if you you think you need to get your rear in gear.

Lastly,

Dann -  I don't know if you know this but I can be quite a bear when things do not go my way.  I usually take it out on the person nearest and closest to me.  Unfortunately for Dann, this week that person has been him.  But I must say I am kind of happy that things have happen this way.  Like I said earlier there are worse things that could be happening that me having to shack up with him for a few days. And I must say he has been extraordinarily amazing.  His house is less than easy for me to get around so that means that Dann makes the food, Dann does the laundry, Dann get the drinks of water, Dann does everything. I can't really deny the fact that he is a great guy (and boyfriend).  I mean I knew this already but these last ten days have certainly made things even more clear for me. Not only has he been doing everything around the house, he also donated most of his drawers and his space in his room to my stuff.  When he comes home from working all day and finds me crying out of frustration he tries his hardest to make me laugh.  He doesn't lose his temper when I have lost mine and even when I am yelling at him for no reason (when would I ever do that?!) he doesn't yell back.  Simply holds my hand and says "Okay, are you done?" He doesn't wake me up when I am taking up the whole bed, even though I wake up him all of the time for every little thing including but not limited to taking all of the blankets off of me, waking him up because I'm bored, etc etc. He makes me laugh constantly. Did I say that already?  And also he doesn't let a moment go by without letting me know that I am important to him and that he loves me.   I am lucky to be loved be him.  I think he'd make a good husband! :)


What are you thankful for?!